Scooter Hobbs column: Tigers need lesson on defense

Published 9:25 pm Sunday, October 1, 2023

Not for the first time, but LSU could take a lesson from Alabama right about now.

Maybe you can find it on YouTube.

In this video a Mississippi State kick returner breaks free in the open field. Bama’s Conor Talty might be the last obstacle.

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He has ground to cover, but he takes a perfect angle, squares up before committing to the kill and drives his shoulder pads through the runners’ hips then — pay attention, the next part is important — wraps his arms firmly around the waist and drives him sideways.

Picture perfect. Textbook tackling.

Side note: Conor Talty is the Crimson Tide’s kicker. A freshman, for all I know maybe plucked off fraternity row.

“It’s not rocket science,” LSU coach Brian Kelly after watching his own defenders whif and flail at a wide variety of Ole Miss Rebels to the tune of 706 yards, the most ever given up by the Tigers in well over a century of football.

Evidently it’s a lost science on the LSU varsity, as puzzling as thermonuclear hieroglyphics.

In the very end Saturday— and it had been regressing to this — it turned what would have been one of the Tigers’ most apologetic victories into probably their most embarrassing loss.

On the odd chance Ole Miss has not scored again since I started this paragraph the final was Ole Miss 55, LSU 49.

It was quite the fireworks show, in a macabre sort way, and drew rave reviews from around the country, at least for those must seeking cheap entertainment  without a dog in the hunt.

For LSU?

I’d love to get a final tally from Louisiana’s living rooms and man caves on how many beer bottles went sailing through hi-def big screens.

Kelly seemed to be speaking for all LSU fans afterwards.

“We need to be pissed off about what happened and have some resolve about our circumstances,” is what he said. “That’s not a standard of play that’s acceptable.”

Maybe send the bill for that new TV to the LSU football office.

LSU had a chance right down to the end — even had an incompletion off the hands in the end zone on the final play — because the Tigers are ranked No. 4 in the nation in total offense, 551 yards per game.

That is some kind of slicked-up offensive-wizardry they’re wasting with a defense that is now No. 113 out of all 133 teams in the FBS — few of them with LSU’s resources — at 429 yards per.

This is LSU we’re talking about, the former proud DBU.

But let’s get this out in the open up front.

For too long, most of the finger-pointing was aimed at the LSU secondary, as easy of a target for fans as for opposing quarterbacks.

But it’s not like the preseason-ballyhooed front seven has done much of anything.

This is just a bad defense —  front, middle and back end.

Saturday in Oxford it looked clueless, often helpless, sometimes hopeless.

Yeah, too many receivers get open.

But the common thread from front to back?

Seriously, can anybody around there tackle? Does anybody know how? Do they ever practice it?

I don’t know — yet — if it’s the worst defense LSU has ever had, but it’s by far the worst tackling.

It’s not just being out of position, which they often are. They stumble. They arrive at the scene off balance. They whif with obligatory arm waves. They get juked out. They take obscenely bad angles and end chasing. They dive sideways at ball carriers who bounce off and continue forward. Sometimes it seems they’re patting them on the backside and wishing them well as they go by.

And these are the finest athletes NIL money can buy.

A lot of Ole Miss’ 26 receptions were fairly well-covered — credit to the Rebel receivers making big-time plays. They were really good and head coach/whiz kid Lane Kiffin can dial up some new-age ball plays on you.

But if you could eliminate the missed tackles after catches, you might have cut Ole Miss’ 389 passing yards almost in half. Same with the 317 yards rushing.

Then we’re not having the conversation.

But while we are, what in the world has happened to the big boys up front?

It was touted as maybe the best in the SEC in preseason?

It’s been a bust, too. They couldn’t consistently tackle either.

Maybe it is rocket science.

Seems like I’ve asked a lot of questions in this session. I’m not sure I’ve got any answers.

Frankly, Kelly didn’t seem to either in a dejected postgame press conference. He just said there aren’t any new defenders walking through that door.

Maybe see if that Alabama kicker might be interested in hitting the portal.

Scooter Hobbs covers LSU athletics. Email him at scooter.hobbs@americanpress.com