THE COUCH — OK, bear with me here. We’re going to watch the Alabama-Georgia SEC championship game together.

I know you didn’t get a formal invitation, but I was never good at such high-brow etiquette.

So get comfortable, grab a cold one. No need to use a coaster on that old coffee table.

TV pregame crew is intent on convincing us that Georgia has a chance.

Well, just watched the Big 12 Flag Football championship game, and the key play was by Oklahoma’s defense, so I guess anything is possible.

Face-painting is part of college football, but you should outgrow it by the time you graduate. Just saying.

CBS always did have the best game intro music.

Alabama wins the toss … more proof the SEC fix is in again.

Twitter, meanwhile, has it on good authority that none of the SEC officials from the LSU-Texas A&M are in the house today.

Georgia is throwing out all the stops — two runs up the middle to open the game.

And then a sack … and a long Tide punt return … probably not the start the Dawgs wanted.

What time does the Big Ten game start?

Hold on. Wow. Sack, Georgia interception. Tua is limping.

The Bulldog are convinced it can run up the middle on the Tide. No idea what film they watched.

Great sideline report — Tua apparently is going to rub a little dirt on that ankle … excuse me, officially it’s an “undisclosed injury,” although whatever it is, it apparently helps it to rub a little dirt on the ankle.

Dropped pass in end zone works out for Georgia. End up scoring anyway on a perfect pass by Jake Fromm and it keeps the ball away from Alabama a little longer.

Georgia, 7-0, and Dawgs kind of look like … maybe … gulp … the better team?

Never mind. Looks like that touchdown just annoyed Bama. Or woke up the Tide.

But Bama dropping passes makes it look human.

Still, take a picture of that first-quarter scoreboard, Dawgs.

Quick. First play of second quarter — 7-7.

OK, I stand corrected. Georgia can run the ball on Bama and, fortunately, Gary Danielson just explained why. Forget what he said, but it made sense.

Dawgs, 14-7.

Jalen Hurts at quarterback for Bama … but just one play … and Tua almost throws a pick six.

Dawg ball again … and Georgia does look like the better team.

That Dawg pile just moved 7 yards. Georgia moving, Georgia running … Georgia throwing … Georgia 21-7.

Conspiracy alert: Well, what do you know? … Alabama gets a big review reversal as a lost fumble becomes Josh Jacobs recovering his own fumble in the end zone. It was lucky. It was fluky. It was soooo Alabama. But it was the right call.

Does anybody really watch the Dr Pepper tuition toss at halftime? But I do miss Larry Culpepper.

Annoyed Nick Saban at halftime (in so many words): They’re not doing what we tell them to do.

Tua 3 of 9 for 35 yards … not Heisman numbers. Will Saban change quarterbacks at halftime again?

Halftime note to Louisiana: It still looks good on the LSU résumé, but this is not the same Georgia that the Tigers beat.

Commercial break. I’ve seen about enough of this spot where the old man’s nostrils start fluttering.

OK, Alabama gets ball to start second half. Big possession. Goes nowhere.

Wow, Dawgs. Like I said, just keep running right at them. No, throw it — great catch, 28-14. Fromm is trying to steal Tua’s Heisman.

But. It. Is. Not. Over. Yet.

And now again … great call to the tight end right down the middle.

Dare the Dawgs dream?

And omigosh … the bespectacled Georgia icon missed a layup field goal. Why do you get the feeling that duck-hooked field goal will loom large?

So all of a sudden the Tide finally seem to have a sense of urgency, even a Jerry Jeudy sighting and …

Intercepted! … not a good throw. Georgia ball.

Not for long. Bad spot. Not Bama conspiracy bad, but close enough.

And, just like that, Touchdown, A-La-Bama. 28-21. Game on.

Start of the fourth quarter, now, and that missed field goal is going to loom large.

But Tua just threw a fourth-quarter pass — isn’t that alone enough to get Georgia in the playoff?

Is it my imagination or is Georgia still moving the ball … OK, never mind, and the Dawgs can’t catch a break with those punts at the goal line.

Tua down again. Looks like the undisclosed ankle thing again. Hurts coming in … oh, the irony.

So, of course, Hurts just threw a better pass than Tua has all night.

All tied, 28-28.

You are kidding, right? Georgia had no chance to make good on that fake punt.

Hurts does it again and Alabama recovers its own fumble again and we all know how this movie ends.

Wait for it.

Yes, course.

Hurts just stole Tua’s Heisman Moment … Bama 35-28.

Georgia needs a miracle … it’s not going to come 5 yards at a time … can’t take that sack … forget it.

Hail Mary time.

Good night.

Scooter Hobbs covers LSU athletics. Email him at shobbs@americanpress.com