Yes, it’s that last day of madcap, desperate Christmas shopping and, frankly, I wish I could help you.

Unfortunately, the ante has been raised in this hectic game.

It’s complicated, particularly if it’s a college student, especially if it happens to be an athlete and good luck and God speed if it’s a standout football player on your shopping list.

Unfortunately, there are no right answers.

It’s that age-old conundrum when dealing with these fickle college youths — or yutes.

They already live and eat, get their work-out and video-game reps done in campus accommodations straight out of the Richie Rich comic book.

But it’s the never-ending question — mainly what do you buy for that lad-next-door who already has everything. We’re talking here about the stud athlete who at the ripe old age of 20, often as not, already has his first Lamborghini and, for all you know, may be fielding offers from across state for an upgrade to his wheels?

A calculator sounds like an old standby for college kids.

Try again. He’s probably got his own accountant/agent/wealth consultant to handle any adding and subtracting he might need, let alone the higher math for seven-figure deals.

Hamburger stand gift cards used to be a thing. They could always come in handy around campus.

But forget those. You’ll only embarrass yourself. These guys were courted to campus with a far more discerning palate — a 5-star player demands a minimum 4-star restaurant, probably 5-star for the truly elite. Valet parking? Of course. Goes without saying.

Just say the old standard gifts for these athletically inclined college students are as out-dated as telephone booth stuffing and goldfish swallowing. And you hardly ever see any streakers anymore.

The Supreme Court should have mentioned it when they decided to make these cash-grabs legal.

Good for the beneficiaries. Bad for you and your shopping.

Current athlete gift-giving etiquette also requires that the gift you give — clothing, for instance — should not be adorned with identifiable logo markings from the current school.

It’s a fluid situation these poor student-athletes are dealing with these days. And with the transfer portal ever beckoning, chances are a whole new wardrobe could be required next semester, especially if his new demands aren’t met or his tender feelings soothed.

It’s a fine line you walk now.

And you just think it’s frustrating for your shopping

Imagine the dilemma the various bowls’ Swag Bag Committee chairmen have on their hands.

It never got much play, but that bowl swag bag used to be a huge  deal with competing players.

The bowls used to spend good time and money out-doing one another on the swag front. Still do.

They, too, may be fighting a losing battle.

Maybe times have changed. In the hey day of those swag bags filled with techno-goodies and gift-card shopping sprees, you hardly ever saw any bowl opt-outs.

I remember, for instance, being in Orlando covering the 2016 Citrus when it wasn’t hard to spot the LSU and Louisville players wandering around their team hotels.

The hot new bit of technology at the time was those GoPro digital video cameras that you strap around yourself, fairly discretely, and video everything and everyone in your path.

I gathered that GoPros had suddenly turned X-boxes, long a swag bag staple, into yesterday’s news.

But, such was the excitement and curiosity that you’d have thought they’d all been given new Lamborghinis.

Today’s athletes will never know the joy those guys used to get out of bowl swag bags.

Now, they’d probably just roll their eyes, toss them flippantly into the nearest trash can and call their agents.

If you’re going to impress today’s college athlete with a free gift, it had better be some 14-carat bling of some sort or another.

But good luck. And I think it’s traditional at this juncture to wish one and all a Merry Christmas. And Happy shopping, too.

It’s a never-ending battle. The struggle is real.

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Scooter Hobbs covers LSU athletics for the American Press. You can email him at scooter.hobbs@americanpress.com