Two times now, Sara A. thought she had found the one-and-only love of her life. Both times, she was wrong. 

Having gone through two divorces, she is familiar with the process. Her experiences inspired her to help others, she said. Her book, “The Smart Gal’s Guide Thru Divorce: What Lawyers Don’t Tell You,” written with co-contributor Sandra D., is a guidebook to help women who are going through, or are thinking of getting, a divorce. 

Sara A. is not bitter. She writes that she still believes in marriage, and believes that marriage is God’s best plan. Reconciliation is always best, she says, whenever it is possible.

But when it’s not, and divorce is imminent, this book offers a wealth of information from the practical to the financial to the spiritual.

Though she never intended to become an expert at it, she knows the business side of divorce, and her book walks the reader through a lot of it.

Going in, people getting divorced need to hire a good family law attorney. Sara A. recommends interviewing at least three before making a choice. The book supplies a list of questions to ask each potential attorney.

Sara A. recommends “calendaring.” This involves getting a new calendar, no matter what time of year it is, and recording only divorce information in it. Write down all dates of court filings and court motions. Record all legal fees paid. Include what the fee was for and when it was paid. 

When going through a divorce, Sara A, recommends laying off social media. Keep a very low profile, she says. Even texts on your phone should be kept short, informative and G-rated, because those texts can be “discovered” and used as a reference of conduct in a divorce court case.

Sara A. explains why you should rent a post office box, set up a new email address and get wise about your personal finances. 

There is a chapter on forgiveness, which the author suggests might just be the most valuable one in the book.

There is also a “Don’t” chapter on things NOT to do during this time. Among the suggestions: Don’t lean on your children, and don’t over-use your married friends.

Sara A. lives in The Woodlands, Texas. She is a certified divorce coach. As a divorce coach, she charges clients a fee to help them avoid potential costly divorce mistakes. For more information, email her at sara@divorcebuddys.com or visit DivorceBuddys.com.  

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“The Smart Gal’s Guide Thru Divorce: What Lawyers Don’t Tell You,” by Sara A. and co-contributor Sandra D., is published by Westbow Press. The 154-page softcover book costs $13.95.