LSU head football coach Ed Orgeron. 

LSU’s new football season will still require another round or two of testing — the pesky COVID-19 thing, you know — but the late start-up passed a major hurdle Tuesday when the fine print arrived via email from the university.
We’ll analyze that in a moment.
But while two-a-days were once the big talk point leading into a new season, this week, as every forthcoming week, it will be those three-a-weeks, as in the number of times a player has to pass his coranaviorus test each week to be eligible.
Remember, it’s not the injury report you have to worry about this season.
They happen. Players miss games. Part of football. But if enough players test positive for COVID-19, games don’t get played. And then fans miss games.
But hold your breath. The SEC is trying, finally putting those campus research labs to good use for something to benefit mankind.
Much of it, of course,  involves what is known as “technology,” some of it even “high-tech.” So what could possibly go wrong when the usual cross-section of Louisiana, even when watered down to one-quarter strength, convenes to watch the Tigers actually play and try to defend a national championship that, in retrospect, may seem like child’s play compared to just playing this season.
The latest development rolled out by the SEC is something called Kinexon Safezone Technology. It doesn’t exactly roll off the tongue.  I’ve read the release three times and, other than it’s the “size of a watchface,” I have no idea what it does or how or why. But it helps them play the games, so it must be a good thing.
Apparently it uses not just technology but “ultra-wideband technology,” a must-have to “calculate the proximity between individuals by distance and length of time in order to perform quick and accurate contact tracing when someone is symptomatic or tests positive for COVID-19.”
Some of them even come with red warning light to flash when people get within six feet of one another.
Right. Got that? And you can bet Nick Saban already has his team of analysts on the case to figure out a way Bama can use this information to the advantage of his secondary.
That’s a little over the top, but much of LSU’s finagling to get a season in is along the same veins.
Good luck. Really. We’re all pulling for you.
But it has to be bothersome to that segment of the fan base that still sees the common flip phone as a technological challenge.
The common ticket, for instance, has become just another app for your smart phone.
It will involve some downloading from the internet, and all fans, in fact, will have to pass a COVID test - sometime after midnight before the game — before entering Tiger Stadium’s immediate grounds.
Some electronic wizardry will allow fans to take the test “online” by answering four questions. It’s an open-book test, fortunately, but involves more downloading to get to the questions.
Those who have the right answers will see their electronic tickets magically display a “green” approved pass. Wrong answers elicit a “red” denial that, who knows, might have you extradited to Alabama. No, no, just kidding. It just means you shouldn’t go into Tiger Stadium.
LSU has asked the media to assist in getting this information out, so here are some other highlights from the email:
If ticket holders have an issue downloading the LSU Sports Mobile app or accessing the CDC Facilities COVID-19 screening, they can get assistance on site at the LSU Guest Services kiosks located outside Gate 9, Gate 20 or the SW corner near Gate 1.
Just a hunch, but Gate 9, Gate 20 and the SW corner near Gate 1 are going to be crowded places about an hour before kickoff.
Plan to leave your home early to allow plenty of time to enter the stadium. If you feel sick, please stay home!
But if you’re not technologically advanced, you may already be too late. And the parking lots won’t open until four hours before the game.
Mask up! Face masks covering the nose and mouth are required on campus and at all athletic venues.
As well they should be. Just think of it as a Mardi Gras ball.
Ticket holders are permitted to bring a 32-ounce or 1 litter (or smaller) factory-sealed bottle of water into stadium.
That’s pretty generous giving you 32-ounces. But it does pretty well eliminate your personal keg from the cache (the one you planned to put in the empty seat next to you). And if you really know how much a litter is, you should be able to fill it with any dang thing you want to. But that’s just a suggestion.
After entering the stadium, you will notice that all concession stands are cashless.
They are not, however, free, as the note goes on to explain, “Cash-to-card machines are available at select locations throughout the stadium.”
Face masks may be temporarily removed while consuming food and beverages at your seats, provided physical distancing is observed.
Never mind the face masks. But when this whole pandemic is over, the physical distancing while eating should be kept in place for many of the fans you know.
Especially those who are sitting next to kegs.

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