Glen Lloyd Blackmon
Published 12:01 am Friday, December 2, 2022
Glen Lloyd Blackmon abandoned his failing earthly body Tuesday, Nov. 29, 2022, at the age of 67. We suspect he made the decision in protest of Donald Trump’s decision to run again for President. Or perhaps it was when Glen’s nurses told him he may never again enjoy a glass of cold milk – that was Glen’s line in the sand.
Glen leaves behind his wife, stepson and daughter-in-law, three grandchildren, mother, two sisters, brother, and a mile long list of lifelong friends from every walk of life. He loved them all, but he would tell you it was an even trade to reunite with his beloved Killer (a yorkie) on the other side.
Glen was born the first son of John Edwin Blackmon & Theda Dolores DeBarge Blackmon Burnett on May 12, 1955. Born in La Marque, Texas, Glen would be quick to point out that he was indeed “native Texan.” He spent his childhood between the Texas coast and Lake Charles, Louisiana, eventually joining the first graduating class at Barbe High School in Lake Charles.
Post-graduation, Glen was faced with the stiff wind of reality and went to work in the oilfield. He would tell you that was a very tough week, and he quickly rerouted his path, enrolling at McNeese State University. To say Glen wasn’t much for working with his hands would be a tremendous understatement. His idea of manual labor was pointing and telling someone else how it should be done.
With his self-proclaimed “genius level” intelligence, Glen excelled at McNeese (the difficulty of that accomplishment is for the reader to determine), graduating with a degree in Economics. He parlayed that diploma into a banking job (well, the physical copy may have been rolled into a joint, but the merits led to gainful employment), and little did he know that would be the start of a very successful career.
The banking path allowed Glen an opportunity to see the country, moving from Lake Charles to Tulsa, Chicago, Los Angeles, Milwaukee, Des Moines, and finally San Jose where he ended his W2 career at Silicon Valley Bank. Glen would tell you he’d never been surrounded by a more talented and eclectic bunch of morons than he was at SVB. He even befriended the lawyers (looking at you, John B).
In the late 90s, Glen headed south to Houston, calling it quits on “working for the man” and opted to buy and sell distressed companies. Later, he would turn that into his most recent pursuit of brokering deals via his M&A advisory service.
While he was proud of those accomplishments, he would tell you his greatest achievement was securing Janell’s hand in marriage as he always gloated about having the “prettiest woman in the room.” Coworkers often commented on the picture of Janell sitting on Glen’s desk: “wow, your daughter is so beautiful!” Through squinting eyes and over flaring nostrils, Glen would quickly correct their mistake.
For a guy who never wanted kids, he sure figured out how to be a great stepdad, mostly through fear of failing at anything. He also established himself as Amy’s favorite father-in-law (1st in a class of one) as the two Taurus’ often ganged up against Janell and Robert. Fortunately, the grandkids arrived and hogged all Glen’s attention. Those kids lit up his world, and while unqualified and ill-equipped to complete the task, “Grumpy,” as the grandkids called him would volunteer to babysit, even in his final weeks.
We’re all saddened to lose Glen, but we rest easy knowing he’s reading the WSJ while sitting on his behind somewhere in a bar in Heaven, befriending someone he’s never met and with whom he will always keep in touch.
In honor of Glen, a memorial service will be held at 2pm Sunday, December 11th at The Ridge Community Church (10801 Falconwing Drive, The Woodlands, Texas). If you’re unable to attend or simply want to honor Glen in the meantime, he’s asked that you pour yourself a glass of Johnny Walker Black and think back to the fond memories you shared with him. He was a “one of a kind,” and he loved you, “even though you’re a moron.”