The first thing you notice when you sit down to talk with Santa Claus is just how busy the jolly St. Nick really is.

This from a guy who has children of all ages and sizes sitting on his lap for the better part of a month, wearing out a spot on his bright red suit.

While some tug on his beard, others pull at his hat and a few of the youngest begin to cry wildly the second their leave their mother’s arm.

A few question if he is real, wondering if just such a suggestion might leave them on the naughty list for the holidays. That could lead to a lump of coal in one’s stocking.

It is a tiring job but according to the oversized elf, one that is far from thankless.

“It’s bringing a smile to so many faces which makes me stay so jolly,” Santa said.

He agreed to sit down and answer a few questions children have for him while all the time looking over his glasses to make sure his tiny helpers in the back room were staying on task.

How much do you weigh?

Santa:

That is not nice. It is hard to find time to work out when you have a such a busy schedule each year, especially at this time. But I will say most of the year Mrs. Claus makes sure we eat healthy, but that one night each year when I ride alone is tough, especially when everybody leaves you cookies. And I like cookies.

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How do you and the presents fit down the chimney?

Santa:

That’s a trade secret, but it has to do with math so make sure you do your homework and one day you will learn. I can tell you this much, the real problem comes when there is a fire still burning. A few too many of those can make for a long sleigh ride home at the end of the night. But most people make sure the chimney is clear for me to travel up and down, which I appreciate.

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What if I don’t havea chimney?

Santa: Somebody usually leaves a window cracked open somewhere. Making sure I don’t surprise the dog and wake up the entire neighborhood is the bigger problem. I’m friends with most animals. If you can get along with a group of feisty reindeers you can get along with just about any pet.

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Do reindeers really fly?

Santa: These are not your normal reindeer. I mean how many reindeer have names and songs made up about them. They are specially trained for that one night. It was hard at first to get them to cooperate, and even harder when they started to get some attention and we had to bring in the new guy. But through the years they have all found their role and they get special treats to keep them happy on that long trip.

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What is the story with Rudolph, doesn’t he make for nine instead of eight reindeer?

Santa: Rudolph is the new kid. He is really important on snowy nights when his red nose lights up the way. He has become more important over time to help keep airplanes from flying into us. Having nine makes landings and takeoffs a little tougher, but we have learned over time.

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Is there really anaughty list?

Santa: There is but it’s very small. Most of the time kids from around the world learn that come December it pays to be good. So it is easy to jump from the naughty to nice list. But I always make sure to bring enough lumps of coal with me just in case. Just like your parents, it’s hard for me to stay mad at children very long.

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Do you get any gifts?

Santa: I get some from the elves and Mrs. Claus. Every year somebody buys me an electric razor, but as you can tell I never use it. I have been known to re-gift a few of those, however. And I sure use the sweaters I get, since it is so cold in the North Pole.

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Why do you live in the North Pole?

Santa: It’s a great place to raise reindeer and the elves. Plus, with it being so cold it is easy to stay inside and get the work done what we need to do. We don’t have much time for outside activities with all the toys we have to make.

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How can you be at more than one mall at a time?

Santa: I have plenty of helpers and not all of them are making toys. What is important to know is I get reports from all of them. It’s much easier now with the Internet and email. Before, back in the days, the letters would really pile up. Now I can sit down at my computer and get letters and reports from all over the world in a matter of minutes. I’m even considering going on Twitter for next year.

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Does bad weather make the sleigh hard to drive?

Santa: Some nights are worse than others. It can especially get a little rough around Buffalo. Snow is one thing, but the wind can leave toys flying if you are not careful. The reindeer do a good job at keeping us on schedule no matter what the weather. And we do make up time around the warm spots.

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How do you get toall those houses inone night?

Santa: That’s another one of those trade secrets. One thing I can tell you, it is a special night. So, are you sure how long you are really asleep? It might seem like a short night to you, but it is a long night for me.

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Do you ever goon vacation?

Santa: Yes I take a few days off after Christmas and try to get some sun. I head south just in time for the new year. While the elves keep working, I let the heavy gift work go to the Easter Bunny until after spring. He’s more into candy than cookies, though.

With that, Santa blinked his left eye and smiled, puffing up his rosy cheeks. “It’s time for me to get back to work,” he said.

But on his way out he called back, “Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night.”(MGNonline)