LSU news conferences are starting to look and sound a lot like a United Nations convocation.

When do they pass out the earphones to the media, the ones with interpreters on the other end?

The Tigers’ coaching staff room is now up to three separate and distinct languages, the mother tongues of next to nowhere really.

There is some English spoken for one, though rarely the King’s version, and, for two, this state has made great and resourceful strides in recent years in deciphering the unique elocution that is Les Miles-speak, an apparent convoluted, off-brand form of pig Latin.

It’s an acquired ear, to be sure, but we’re working on it diligently, almost to the point you don’t hear nearly as many “huhs?” and “what-he-saids?” among the congregation these days.

And now they’re introducing Ed Orgeron, defensive line coach, into this fragile mix.

It should be a snap.

Orgeron has coached from coast to coast, even Mississippi, with no apparent communication problems even though nobody, at any stop, has ever understood a word he grunted.

He’s back home now, Louisiana, where strange dialects are not unusual. Yet this will be a challenge, certainly take some getting used to.

It’s Cajun, you suppose, but it’s a dicey experiment of the full-blooded Cajun accent on Tabasco steroids, a double-blurted, scratchy-cough version from so far back on the backside of the bayous of Larose that only the alligators and nutria could be expected to fully comprehend it.

He had to play himself in the movie “The Waterboy” — no, sorry, I guess it was “The Blind Side” ­— probably because none of the finest method actors in Hollywood could ever pull off that particular coach-speak.

But best anybody could decipher at Wednesday’s news conference, Orgeron is just flapjack happy to be coaching in Louisiana, his dream job at the state’s Flagship University.

That’s what it sounded like he said anyway.

It didn’t really matter what he said.

Orgeron, who was introduced along with new defensive coordinator Kevin Steele, is suddenly one of the most popular hires Miles has ever made.

I thought it made sense.

Orgeron is that slightly crazed persona who seems to often end up coaching defensive lines — wild-eyed, often spewing oil, prone to yelling and screaming and not above ripping off his shirt, even butting his bare head against a helmet on occasion just to make a simple point.

The kids lap that stuff up.

Plus, LSU apparently, needed a new defensive line coach.

The wonder is that it took Orgeron so long for the moons to line up just right for his return.

But that’s not it.

The buzz on Orgeron is most electric among the recruiting geeks since he’s certified as one of the nation’s best at luring the fastest and swiftest to whatever campus he’s working on.

Evidently he speaks a language they understand, gravitate toward.

He recruited lights out at Ole Miss before it was fashionable, although unfortunately his other antics don’t play so well as a head coach.

Steele is from the same mold, if far gentler, known as a recruiter with few peers.

And, of course, Frank Wilson, recruiter extraordinaire, was already at LSU.

It didn’t take long for somebody to deem them the “Recruiting Dream Team.”

In fact, respected recruiting analysts, of which there apparently are some, are saying that with the addition of Orgeron and Steele, no school has ever had such a dynamic trio on hand for the chore.

Orgeron was already shouting that he couldn’t wait to get out there with, “LSU” finally on his chest. He vowed that no recruit was safe — be they soft verbals, firm commitments or on the fence, he’d try to flip them all.

And it sounds great for LSU.

But let me get this straight.

LSU, coming off a disappointing 8-5 season, is fixing things by upping the ante on the recruiting trail.

Pause.

In other developing news, New Orleans has opened another scrumptious restaurant, Augusta National is adding some azaleas to spruce the place up and Canada is sending out for a fresh batch of ice.

Really? I guess you can never get too good at recruiting, never have too many good players. You should always be striving to fine-tune any part of the program.

But when, exactly, was recruiting ever LSU’s problem? When has LSU ever lacked for talent?

The real problem with 8-5 hasn’t changed by adding two respected defensive coaches.

So go find a quarterback. Preferably a ready-made one ready to be cranked up and used right out of the shipping crate.

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Scooter Hobbs covers LSU

athletics. Email him at

shobbs@americanpress.com

Les Miles (AP Photo)

John Raoux