Hang in there. Less than one more week and college football’s silly season — August — will be over.
It can’t get here fast enough to make up for all the useless predictions and rankings, the ratings, projections and listings
that litter the August landscape.
But it’s a start.
The funny thing is that people fall for
them year after year, no matter how useless they look even before
September is done. They not only fall for them, they sound so good they use them
for bragging rights or anguish and bicker about this slight
or that.
After all, everything seems so neat and tidy in August.
That’s my problem doing the prediction thing. I never could make myself sound authoritative enough to make a prediction matter
since I’m usually giggling through the absurdity of it.
But I’ll play along again. I’ll get
into my deepest, most serious, furrowed-brow voice to take you through a
genuinely authoritative
tour of the way the SEC race will end this season.
We’ll start at the bottom of each division, beginning with the east, where there’s more top-to-almost-bottom parity but not
the power at the top like in the West.
7. Kentucky — The Wildcats are
suffering the most from Vanderbilt’s breath-taking rise to mediocrity.
Not sure who they can
beat on their conference schedule now. Sadly, the Cats do not play
Ole Miss, which could settle the who’s-worst question once
and for all. But the basketball team will surely be good again.
6. Vanderbilt — This is the trouble
with playing in the SEC. You can give the culture a complete makeover,
upgrade the recruiting,
live in the weight room, gain some confidence and give a walk-on a
scholarship on a viral You Tube segment. And you still
might only move up one spot. But Vanderbilt really is a lot better
and might well finish higher in the West, which is supposed
to be tougher. Either that, or last year new head coach James
didn’t realize he was at Vanderbilt.
5. Tennessee — A lot of this isn’t coach Derek Dooley’s fault, but the Vol fans are restless anyway over the mess the program
has become. They have a chance to be good on offense even without yet another suspension to a star (Da’Rick Rogers, one of
the SEC’s best receivers), but defense rules this league.
4. Florida — The Gators will probably
be better, but right now it just seems like ... what? ... an incomplete
team? Maybe
an awkward team with a lot of five-star pieces that just don’t
seem to fit into a team puzzle. Or maybe that’s over-analyzing,
thinking too deeply on what is really a simple sport. But coach
Will Muschamp first has to figure out what this team is before
he can build on whatever personality emerges. It also wouldn’t
hurt to figure out who his quarterback is.
3. Missouri — I like the Tigers’ approach to joining the SEC. While Texas A&M has been fairly deferring while saying all the
right things, Mizzou’s attitude about jumping into this physical mosh pit seems to be, “Oooooo, we sooooo sccccaaaaaared.”
It almost seems like they’re saying, hey, it’s just a football game, not like, you know, life or death. That will be quite
a shock to the SEC’s system, but the Tigers are also better than you think they are.
2. Georgia — Going against the grain
here, but anytime you pick a team to win a division based on having an
easier schedule,
you’re dealing with fool’s gold. Unless you picked Georgia to win
the East on that last year, which is exactly how the Dawgs
did it. The football gods won’t let that happen two years in a row
and also ...
1. South Carolina —The Gamecocks are
just better, even with a far tougher schedule that includes both LSU and
Arkansas (Georgia
plays neither and also avoids Alabama). It also way fun to watch
Steve Spurrier win with defense and a strong running game.
OK, now the West.
7. Ole Miss — The Rebels will likely be the worst team in the SEC again, but will surely upgrade from last year’s worst SEC
team I ever saw, if only because they won’t have Houston Nutt to quit on this season. Still, new coach Hugh Freeze has his
work cut out for him.
6. Mississippi State — The Bulldogs are making noise again about being much better. And they will be, I guess. Just not good
enough to be a factor. They do own Mississippi at the moment, however.
5. Auburn — I could be wrong on this one. You never know with Auburn. But anytime it takes this long to figure out who our
quarterback is, it usually means you don’t really have one. And Auburn really needs one (see Newton, Cam).
4. Texas A&M — New coach Kevin
Sumlin will bring a Big 12 team with a Conference USA offense into the
fray against the salivating
defenses of the SEC. Hey, works for me. But the Aggies figure to
win a few games that surprise you.
3. Arkansas — If the Razorbacks don’t
win the SEC as every good Hog fan fully expects, it won’t be because
Bobby Petrino rode
his motorcycle off into the sunset (with a gossipy side stop in
the ditch). John L. Smith will be fine and pass the audition.
If they do win the SEC it won’t be because both the Alabama and
LSU games are in Fayetteville. The Razorback defense
will or won’t be better and that will be the deal-maker or
breaker.
2. Alabama — OK, I flipped a coin. I’m
not really smart enough to figure out in August how losing over half their starting defense
will affect the Tide or losing its only Honey Badger will affect
LSU. But it won’t be enough to keep them from being the best
two teams in the SEC — while still refreshingly capable of
dropping a game to someone other than each other.
1. LSU — Keep in Mind, last year the feeling was that LSU was a year away from being REALLY good. Wouldn’t surprise me. As
much as the new quarterback, it’s the returners on both lines that give the Tigers the edge.
Anyway, for what it's worth in August, that makes LSU the de facto SEC champion.
•••
Scooter Hobbs covers LSU athletics. Email him at shobbs@americanpress.com