Hobbs Column: This is what happens when you procrastinate

By By Scooter Hobbs / American Press

Well, here we are, tragically, less than four months before the start of the next football season, and yet the NFL has still

not figured out what to do with Tim Tebow.

Let this be another lesson for what happens when you procrastinate.

This should have been taken care of months ago, but now the Tebow issue is about to become a full-blown crisis.

Elsewhere, the sports world seems to be in working order.

College football’s offseason has turned into a gossipy high school, mostly pitting the “in crowd” — your SEC bullies — against

the rest of the jealous wannabes talking behind their backs.

Fortunately the media has been ever present during this, the alumni-meeting season, to act as go-between tattletale when a

coach gets a little too caught up in the moment and tells his fans what they want to hear.

Oklahoma’s Bob Stoops started it, of course, with snide allegations that the SEC’s near-decade dominance was “propaganda.”

It took two or three nanoseconds for

this to reach the SEC, mostly Nick Saban, who attempted to take the high

road and say

that he had great respect for the Big 12, but really was far too

busy to waste a lot of time trying to decipher Stoops’ remarks.

High school gossip translation: I like Bob Stoops, but only as a “friend.”

It did get a little comical when Kansas coach Charlie Weis agreed with Stoops — Weis, of course, was at Kansas after a year

of somehow coordinating Florida Gator athletes into an unwatchable offense.

But even among the “in crowd” there has been some in-fighting.

In Alabama, they are seriously considering revoking an unwritten state law and henceforth allowing Saban’s name to be mentioned

in the same sentence with Bear Bryant.

But at least two new SEC coaches have

suggested that Saban ain’t all that, and another, Vanderbilt’s James

Franklin, referred

to him as “Nicky Satan.” Coaches are clever like that sometimes.

Florida assistant coach Tim Davis, for instance, called Saban

“the devil himself.”

Maybe this is why LSU likes to keep such a tight reign on Les Miles’ own alumni forays.

At any rate, Saban is able to stand back, take the in-crowd high road, which is to say: Don’t hate me because I’m beautiful.

The scene is similar on the golf course, where the simmering Tiger Woods-Sergio Garcia feud is reaching a delightful critical

mass.

There’s more he said/he said going on out on the fairways than in any five episodes of the “The Real Housewives of Orange

County.”

And Tiger can’t take a penalty drop anymore without four million television snoops questioning it.

PGA Commissioner Tim Finchem has to be smiling broadly.

This is all great stuff. Imagine the potential reality TV if they went to friendship counseling.

I also have it on good authority that both the NBA and NHL playoffs are continuing apace and will eventually come to some

sort of mutually agreeable conclusion.

Meanwhile, the NFL falls further and further behind with every day that passes with Tebow still not throwing any passes.

This must be rectified pronto.

Denver used a No. 1 pick to get Tebow — and couldn’t wait to get rid of him as soon as he led the Broncos to the playoffs.

The Jets had a Tebow plan — let him dominate the tabloids, then make sure to set the timer to release him at the exact second

it was legal under NFL bylaws.

Tebow’s own hometown, Jacksonville, supposedly has a team — well, the Jaguars, anyway — with some sort of Blaine Gabbert for

a quarterback. Yet every time Tebow comes home they avoid eye contact even though they can’t give away game tickets.

But somebody has to be the next team to, voilà, claim to have figured out a way to utilize Tebow’s unique skill sets.

It does the NFL no good for Tebow to be fielding giggly offers (sometimes for as much as $75 a game) to play minor league

arena football or maybe to try Canada or perhaps to race an ostrich for charity.

Tebow needs to be in the NFL, especially in the offseason.

During the season, it doesn’t seem quite so important. They have regularly scheduled games then, and Tebow doesn’t seem to

have much effect on them anyway.

Recently, noted talent guru Gil Brandt

finally came to the conclusion that Tebow is not, under any

circumstances, an NFL quarterback.

For him to get another NFL team, Brandt

suggested, Tebow needs to come to grips with that, give up any hope of

being a quarterback,

disavow any knowledge of having ever been a quarterback, perhaps

bring a notarized statement promising to never say the “Q”

word again.

They are missing the point.

It doesn’t really matter if Tebow plays. The New York Jets proved that last season.

Yet they dominated the New York media with a bad team.

The NFL needs Tebow for the headlines, the distractions, the speculation, the rumors and innuendo and teammate tweets.

And time is running out.

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Scooter Hobbs covers LSU athletics. Email him at shobbs@americanpress.com